Adultery
by Alyson Russell
Adultery: just what is defined as adultery? What makes it so bad? If someone’s spouse cheats can that person be forgiven or should they get divorced. What is the big deal with adultery? We read about it everyday when we look at all the Hollywood gossip about celebrities cheating, and divorcing one another. It is a frequent theme of many TV shows and can be found in a number of movies. It seems like we hear about it everyday. To understand what adultery really is, let us take a moment to first define marriagere. R.C. Sproul states:
Just as we are not simply unified in Christ by a
legal declaration, neither are the husband and
wife unified merely by law. It is a spiritual
and vital union, and therefore, mysterious in
its nature, just as our union with Christ is
mysterious. If we treat marriage as something
more than a legal compact, if we treat it as it
truly is, we enter into it more soberly and
thoughtfully. We will think more seriously about
the person with whom we want to be united. The
marriage union is as intimate as Eve's
relationship with Adam. She was part of him, and
in marriage the husband and wife are part of
each other -- a perfect analogy of our union
with Christ. We are members of His body, not
only representatively, but spiritually and
vitally. (MMVI)
According to the word of God and the Ten
Commandments that He gave us, adultery is a sin.
It is the sin of cheating on your or someone
else's helpmate. The commandment is placed
after the commandment not to kill because both
deal with the sacredness of humans and our
bodies, which have been made in God’s own
image. It is wrong to murder someone and so it
is also wrong to disgrace one’s body with
partaking in adultery. The commandment not to
commit adultery is still valid in every way in
today’s society. Through it there is placed a
standard for something that mankind will
struggle and has always struggled with because
it deals with the purity of our bodies and it
affirms the sanctity of marriage. God through
the commandment was protecting both our bodies
and our marriages. In 1 Corinthians 6:12-18 Paul
writes:
The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but
for the Lord…. Do you not know that your bodies
are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take
the members of Christ and unite them with a
prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who
unites himself with a prostitute is one with her
in body? For it is said, "The two will become
one flesh." But he who unites himself with the
Lord is one with him in spirit……he who sins
sexually sins against his own body”(NIV).
So committing adultery is sin against our bodies
and Christ. But exactly what does marital
unfaithfulness include? Is it possible that
abuse be counted as unfaithfulness or does it
only pertain to sexual acts? In the New
Testament Jesus took the physical act of
adultery and internalized it; He said, “You have
heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not
commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even
looks at a woman with lust has already committed
adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:27-28
NLV).
In Ephesians 5:28-29 Paul writes that “husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church.” If there is a mindset and/or action of abuse in a relationship than the marriage vow is being broken and thus the abuser is being unfaithful to the spouse. Sadly, in today’s society there are so many ways to commit adultery and to partake in sexual immorality that most people act like it is not a big deal.
Here are some
facts gathered by the Associated Press about
adultery-
• 22 percent of married men have strayed at
least once during their married lives.
• 14 percent of married women have had affairs
at least once during their married lives.
• 70 percent of married women and 54 percent of
married men did not know of their spouses'
extramarital activity.
• 22 percent of men and 14 percent of women
admitted to having sexual relations outside
their marriage sometime in their past.
• 90 percent of Americans believe adultery is
morally wrong.
• 17 percent of divorces in the United States
are caused by infidelity.
Also according to the National Center for Health
Statistics in 2003;
• 7.5 marriages per 1,000 people with 3.8
divorces.
Knowing this distressing information about how many people commit adultery and how many people get divorced, the question arises as to whether or not it is wrong to re-marry. Let us look to what Jesus says in the Bible as our ultimate source of truth:
Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?" "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." "Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?" Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry." Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given….. The one who can accept this should accept it. (Matthew 19:3-12 NIV).
There has been much debate over the last verse where Jesus states that “not everyone can accept this word.” Did He mean the word that the disciples said? Or the word that He said to them in verse nine? To get some more clarity on this matter let us look and see what Paul writes about in Romans seven concerning re-marriage;
“Do you not know, brothers—for I am speaking to
men who know the law—that the law has authority
over a man only as long as he lives? For
example, by law a married woman is bound to her
husband as long as he is alive, but if her
husband dies, she is released from the law of
marriage. 3So then, if she marries another man
while her husband is still alive, she is called
an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is
released from that law and is not an adulteress,
even though she marries another man.” (Romans
7:1-3, NIV)
Let us look on that verse as children of God and
accept that His wisdom is greater than ours.
Paul also writes in 1 Corinthians 7:10 when he
addressed those who are married;
“To the married I
give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife
must not
separate from her husband. But if she does, she
must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to
her husband. And a husband must not divorce his
wife” (NIV).
This brings up questions such as what if someone
gets a divorce and then becomes a Christian, can
they remarry? Also if someone is divorced then
remarries is that sinful, are they out of the
will of God? What about those that as Paul
states “cannot remain single”, he says they
should remarry and does that include those who
are divorced? In attempt to answers these tough
questions David Sisler says that when Jesus was
asked by the Pharisees about divorce and
remarriage in Matthew 19:3-9. Sisler stated
that they asked not to find out the answer.
because they already knew the answer based on
what God said in Deuteronomy 24. They were
trying to trap Him in how He answered. Jesus
said, "God's original plan never included
divorce, but because your hearts are hard, he
permitted it on the grounds of adultery. If the
marriage is dissolved because of adultery, the
innocent party may remarry without jeopardy."
Sisler explains that it is God that said that
people should not get divorced and also said
they could get a divorce because of adultery.
Yet according to Jesus, the contradiction is
with people’s hearts and not with God’s will.
Divorce is wrong according to Jesus, but it does
not disqualify someone from going to heaven
because He said that "Whoever comes to me in
faith, I will never cast out.”
So in view of all
this if a person is divorced before they became
a Christian then yes they could remarry because
they did not know God’s position on divorce.
However, if anyone remarries they should do so
with careful consideration and a lot of prayer
to find out if it is something God would allow
in their lives. It is never God’s will for
anyone to sin, but according to the Bible God
already knows what we are going to do before we
do it. So when we repent from sin, even if it
leaves us in a difficult situation, God can
still use us and already has a plan to help us.
Divorce should be portrayed in art as
distressing because it rips families apart.
Divorce in art should also be viewed from a very
non-judgmental perspective because some people
get divorced for their personal safety or for
the safety of their family. Divorce should not
be glorified in art because it is a very hard
experience to go through. It is so hard for
every person involved in the splitting of
lives. I think that is a big explanation of why
God is displeased by it. In the arts divorce
should never be glorified and should be shown
for what it is, even if that means there is a
“victim” in it. For example, in Diary of a
Mad Black Woman, Helen McCarter (Kimberly
Elise), is shown to be a victim and a hero of
sorts in her triumph over the circumstances she
faces throughout the film. She falls in love
again and is eventually remarried. The film
portrays divorce as wicked, but also gives hope
to the characters after the fact. Sometimes,
people that have been through divorce can really
relate to this film. Through art, people can
often find a glimpse of hope that they need and
the encouragement that will help them get
through the presently bad circumstances. This
is how good art makes well with tragic
realities.
http://www.womansavers.com/infidelity-statistics.asp
http://www.divorcereform.org/why.html
DIVORCE AND THE PASTOR .David Sisler
http://davidsisler.com/9-2.htm