Dealing with those Who Are Different
By Scott Shiffer
How often are people quick to judge and condemn those who are different than they are? Some people see those who hold different values as somehow less human. Others see those who are different as being wicked, despite the fact that no one is either without fault or justified in self-righteousness.
This is one of the biggest problems of the human condition. It manifests itself in all forms of discrimination. Some see their culture as superior, others see their race as superior even, on occasion, to the extent of their race in a specific culture. Some men see themselves as being more significant than women, some women see themselves as being more significant than men. Some people are seen as having less value because of their sexual choices (homosexuality, bisexuality, swinging, promiscuousness).
In religious circles there are also forms of discrimination doctrinally. In these cases, someone is cast out of the religion or denomination for holding views that do not align with the group on the whole. While fellowship may need to be broken from time to time as a result of extreme differences (ex. someone being asked to leave a Christian Church for teaching that Christ was a fictitious character), casting someone out because they prefer modern worship to hymns is a grave misrepresentation of who Goad has called us to be.
My argument is not that we need to accept everything in an "anything goes, all paths lead to one" type of mind set, but I am saying that we must not forget that even people whom we disagree with are valued by God. All humans are created in God's image and should be seen and treated as such.
I recently read an article by Timothy George that pays tribute to the work of the Theologian, Roger Nicole, who had a significant amount to say concerning how to deal with those that are different than us.
Nicole claimed that there were three important questions to ask when dealing with these people:
1. What do I owe the person who differs from me?
2. What can I learn from the person who differs from me?
3. How can I cope with the person who differs from me?
George then states that no Christian Theologian is exempt from the Biblical command to speak the truth in love.
If you are now wondering what my point is with all of this it is as follows:
1. No matter how different from you someone is, you never have the right to treat them as less human than you are.
2. You are to respect all people and their freedoms as Christ would have you do.
3. You owe things people who are different from you, namely a thank you for allowing me to see this differently and for helping me to think outside the box. People who are different from us have a tendency to break down our presuppositions at least for a time and that can be very good, maybe even life altering.
4. We can learn from those who are different by humbly listening to what they have to say, and by evaluating our own arguments in light of theirs.
5. We can cope with people who are different by agreeing to disagree and continuing to treat one another kindly in love, even when we must disagree.
Application:
There is a certain artist who I would like to refer to as my friend. His name is Dale Thompson, and he is the lead singer of a band that has been very influential to me. That band is the legendary Christian Rock group, Bride. Bride has been doing ministry for over twenty years now and has mastered a number of sounds from 80s rock, to 90s rock, to present day rapcore. A few years ago, Dale began to change some of his views and as a result, was condemned by many believers in an unloving manner. In fact, after hearing some of the things people did to him, I wondered if those people even knew what it was like to have a relationship with Christ or if they even had one at all. I personally disagree with many of the doctrinal changes that Dale has made since 2001, but I still consider him a great musician with many significant things to say. I still listen to his music, buy his albums, and chat with him via email from time to time. Dale has been hurt greatly these past years, and that hurt has affected not only him and his ministry, but also the lives of his friends and family members. In the midst of all the turmoil, Dale has continued to act in a loving way towards those who disagree with him even when they have been mean spirited about it.
I would like to encourage you all this month to take the high rode as Dale has done, and remember to act and react in a loving way towards those who disagree with you or hurt you. This can be very difficult, but it what we are called to do! When you see someone who disagrees with you about religion, sexual lifestyle, musical taste, how to raise children, how to best do a certain process at work, or whatever else, do not forget that this person is still created in God's image and they are to be treated as if they are special and important to God, because all of us are His creation despite our disagreements. It is ok to condemn an idea or to let the person know the everyday or eternal consequences of their beliefs and lifestyles, but it is not worth it to do so in such a way that would turn the person away from God in the process.
Bottom line, do all things in love as unto the Lord.